15 year old white male Evan Farrar was recently convicted for sexually abusing a pringles can using the sponge method. When questioned about the allegation Farrar was quoted saying that he was just “Hopping on the trend”. This follows last year’s incident when Farrar was convicted for the first degree manslaughter of two three year old children found hidden in his electrical appliances. Farrar was quoted saying “I couldn’t help myself” and that “They were the perfect size”. At first we believed that Evan was speaking about how the children fit perfectly behind the dryer, but due to recent events we have become more and more convinced the Evan has a child sized fiddler. Farrar has refused to comment on this.